Are you secretly terrified of getting what you want?

Jorja Fox went on to win a Screen Actors Guild award for her role in CSI

Jorja Fox went on to win a Screen Actors Guild award for her role in CSI

Hearing about people’s ‘big breaks’ sound exciting but sometimes even something so positive can feel almost traumatic.

Jorja Fox (CSI’s Sara Sidle) told this week’s Total TV Guide that the night she found out she’d been cast in ER (as the fantabulous Dr Maggie Doyle), ‘I almost drove to Mexico because I was so terrified. I nearly told them I didn’t want to do it.’

Obviously, she didn’t give into her self-sabotage impulse and made a great addition to an already wonderful cast (I miss ER).

But how refreshing to read about someone who may have been auditioning for ages, wishing, hoping and dreaming of such a break, being open about the terror that getting what she wanted triggered.

Your own ‘big break’ moments may not be on such a grand scale but I’m sure you can think of times when you got something you really wanted (be it an opportunity, a job, a healthier kind of relationship or even a new home) only to panic and think you couldn’t do it.

The accompanying anxiety is often just be a sign of moving past your comfort zone and it shows you’re growing. But if you’re pushing yourself too far, you may, like Fox was tempted to, completely sabotage yourself.

So as you think about something you’re currently working towards, imagine yourself getting what you want. Rather than attempting to force yourself to feel amazing about every aspect as you visualise it, allow yourself to feel all of your emotions, even the unexpected ones like dread and terror.

Think of ways you can support yourself through all of the obstacles you envisage even for your dream coming true in advance.

This way, you’ll be better able to pursue it without being unconscious of ways your self-saboteur is blocking you from success. And when it truly becomes a reality, you can genuinely enjoy it. Be gentle with yourself. Let your system get used to what this big change will mean (or, if you’ve made it, does mean) and allow yourself time to process it.

And congratulations!

Much love xx


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