Have you ever received an email or seen an online comment or somehow heard something mean about yourself and gone into a bit of a shame spiral about it?
The wonderful Brene Brown writes a lot about how we need to allow that shame and vulnerability in order to live ‘wholehearted’ lives but boy oh boy, shame spirals can hurt.
Maybe they’re right, we might think. And we keep it to ourselves in case the rest of our world says, why yes, they totally agree.
Yet when we shine a light on such mean spiritedness (especially the anonymous kind), we not only diffuse our own shame spirals but we are better able to keep our hearts open and get support and salve for the emotional wound.
Studies have shown rejection registers as pain in the brain so support is important.
American comedian Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘Mean Tweets’ segment is delightful. Not only is it hilarious but it feels healing to watch. We’re all human. We’re all just doing our best.
Click here to watch President Obama read out some of his mean Tweets.
And click here to hear others, from Emma Stone and Julia Roberts to Gary Oldman and Mindy Kaling, read their own.
Can you think of something mean someone said / Tweeted / wrote (maybe even going back to childhood) which still resonates?
How might it feel to share it with a trusted loved one (Brene Brown is clear about the need to share with people who can support you, not those who’ll send you even deeper into Shameville because it touches on their own wounds)?
How might you shine some light on it to laugh it off and let it go?
Feel free to comment below on some of your favourite ways to feel better after such things (EFT is one of my favourite quick fixes).